4.15.2011

blessed

If you read my post from yesterday, you know that I have been struggling.
To be honest, yesterday was the day from hell that ended the week from hell.
I ended the day in tears while sitting at the kitchen counter with Chase.  These kids of mine are really testing my patience.

But, today has been a new day.  A day that has shown me that I truly am blessed.
Let's just start with my wonderful mom.  After listening to me beg for help with Jax's refusal to wear pants, my mom came up with this little concoction:  

Yes, it is what you think.  Homemade leiderhosen!!  SO funny looking, but was a miracle worker today.  My mom sewed on grosgrain ribbon "leiderhosen" to a few of Jax's shorts and pants.  He then let her put them on.  He kept these bad boys on for like 5 hours today!!!!!  (Please bless this wasn't a one time thing and that he wears them again tomorrow.)

Today has definitely been the rainbow after the storm.  I was seriously about to pack my bags and move to Tahiti yesterday.  I couldn't do it.  I literally was a failure as a mother.  My kids are unruly.  I am impatient, and we were all miserable.

Two nights ago my prayers consisted of begging for help with Jax.  Period.  No other topics were even approached because figuring this little guy out literally takes over my every thought.  I begged Heavenly Father for help.  How can I make him wear pants?  How can I reason with him?  What do I do?  Is this seriously what my life is?  Does anyone even care that my kids are the hardest kids in the world?  Does anyone care that I really don't think I can ever have a third child because I really feel like I am failing?

Well, today was a true testimony that prayers are answered.  He really does care about my current issue with Jax and his pants.  He really does care about my minor day-to-day struggles.  After posting last night about Jax, I got so many people calling me, texting me, and even two letters that just so happened to show up today in regards to my struggles.  How amazing is that?  

Today I truly have felt that Heavenly Father knows that I haven't been dealt the easiest hand, and that He is going to help me with it.  When I got one particular letter in the mail today I couldn't help but cry through the entire thing.  It had been sent to me a week ago.  It was like Heavenly Father knew that in a week I was going to pray BEGGING Him to rescue me and that this letter needed to be ready and in my mailbox the next morning to tell me that I haven't been sent the issues I have without help.  Honestly, I have never felt so clearly that He was there.  It was like He was telling me, "Goldie, relax.  I know what I have given you to deal with.  And, I know you can do it.  I am not going to leave you hanging in your trials.  We can be a team.  I am going to help you AND I have given you so many people in your life that are going to help with this."

I can't even remember the wonderful experiences I have had today without tears rolling down my cheeks.  For those of you who called, texted, sent mail (days ago), or even commented THANK YOU.  You have no idea, but you have been the answer to my desperate prayers this week.

And, my mother-in-law and mom have also come running to the rescue.  My mom has been busily working up crazy things on the sewing machine and bringing me a million supplies to try.  My mother-in-law has seriously spent hours online reading articles and getting information for me.  How is it possible that I have been given all of this when only 2 days ago I prayed with a broken heart for any type of help.

I could preach to you all day long that someone is listening when we pray, but it is days like today that teach me that all of the "stuff" I have been taught my whole life is true.  We all have trials.  And, they suck.  I am not going to sugar coat it one little bit.  And, I know that my trials are not any harder than anyone else's, but when the trial is yours,  it seems larger than life.  We all have crap, just different shovels.

Today has been a good day.

Well, it seems that this blog has turned into "Chronicles of a Mom With Hard Kids That Just Can't Hack It", but I think I need to post a few pictures to prove that everything is okay.  I am going to survive (I think).  And, as hard as my kids are, they are the cutest little dudes!!!


6 comments:

Jobi Niu said...

Don't think I'm not bawling reading this!!! My 2nd is so damn hard (to say the least) he has to have A.D.D. or something. He tests our patience EVERY DAY! He won't wear pants, he'll wear shorts, he changes his clothes 50 times a day, he lays on top of Oakley just to make her scream, he beats up Jett (Yup, his older brother), he NEVER obeys, he talks back, runs away & hides in stores, he does the opposite of what I tell him, you should see him in the airport!!!!! I can't even name all of the things that he does. :'( Honestly, he's he's only good when he's sleeping. I always wonder "What are we doing wrong?" Don't even get me started on Sacrament Mtg either!! How do Parents do it? I've tried EVERYTHING! I suck. I'm a failure. That is one of the reasons I had to get off Facebook, I need to spend my time researching & on my knees praying begging for help with my 3 yr old. I wanna beat him. It wouldn't do any good. :'( this post inspired me. I love him & Enoch & I will get through this (hopefully) How great is your Mom & mother n law? What would we do without the Gospel? My fingers are crossed for you. Yay Jax!!

Scott said...

I am so glad that you had a good day. I love how honest you are!!! Lets get together soon, We have a fun park by our house, I will text you next week!!!

the dunns said...

That last comment was me... for some reason Scott is always signed in. What can I say, he is a serious blog stalker :)

Kelsey said...

Oh Gold, I had no idea you were struggling so bad. I'm so sorry. I was so touched by this post. I know that the Lord knows you and your trials and he truly will help you through them. I'm so grateful that we know this. I will be praying for you. I love you!

Jeff and Brandi said...

Golds...I needed to read that. I just held Dylan down for approx 30 minutes through a tantrum until he fell asleep. All because I took off his socks that he just threw up on. He looks so peaceful sleeping now and I love him so much, but I too wonder how I'm going to make it a lot of days. If you happen upon any info about how to stop your kids from hurting themselves let me know. He has never hit anyone else, but when he goes into his tantrums he hits himself, pulls his hair and scratches his face. Why? I don't know. Somehow we are going to make it girl! I'm praying for you! I hope things get a little easier soon!

Jonny and Suzette Baird said...

Goldie, Jax and Ben are perhaps the cuttest little boys I have ever seen. Your mom is so wonderful and creative, I loved what she came up with-brilliant! I am always here for you and love you very much. Life is so crazy and always throwing us curve balls, but you have a great perspective on life and I admire and look up to you a lot.

Wasn't life so much easier when we were just trying to figure out what we were going to wear to the highland fling! :)

Love ya!