not my best day

Today has probably been my worst day ever as a mom.  Hands down.  Honestly, if you feel the need to call DCFS after reading this post, more power to ya. 

It all started with me working last night.  I work the graveyard shift a mere 3 nights a week.  Just enough to feel like a real person who is contributing to society, but small enough to still be a full-time stay-at-home momma to my babies.  I got home from work and got to sleep for 2 hours before Chase left to work.  Then, I got up and started my daily mom duties.  Fed everyone breakfast.  Got my kids clean and dressed for the day.  Well, kinda.  It took like 2 hours to convince Jax that he needed to wear pants.  After I cleaned up the crazy messes that happen in my family room in just a few short hours of playing, I fed my kids lunch and got Jax ready to hit the road for school.

Jax just started to ride the bus this week.  I have been taking him, but decided to give the bus a try.  So, the bus arrived and we ran out and off he went.  I went back inside and got Ben a dry, clean little bum and put him down for a nap.  Since I had only slept 2 hours in the last 24, I, too, had to use Jax's preschool time to sleep.  I set my alarm for 2:45pm so I had time to get Ben up and ready, get to Jax's school to get him and meet my mom and Amber.  I even set my alarm a few minutes early because today was going to be the first day Jax rode the bus home.  But, I needed to get somewhere quickly after school so, I had to be there before the little guy hopped on the bus.

I jumped in my bed and was no doubt asleep in 30 seconds flat.  Staying up all night long will do that to ya.  Next thing I know, I hear a loud knock at my door.  I jump up, and the first thing I see is the clock.  5:00 pm!  HOLY $%^@!!!!!!!!!  I sprint to the door and there is Jax's afternoon Bus driver.  He then went on to tell me that he got lost trying to find my place and kept calling me, but I didn't answer.  (....I was totally sleeping instead of being at the police station wondering why in the world my 3 year old wasn't home an hour and a half after school got out!!!!)  Really, I should have been at the police station trying to get an Amber Alert rolling.

I probably apologized to the bus driver 1,000 times as we walked out to the bus to get poor little Jax, who had been harnessed into the bus for over an hour!!  The poor little dude was sooooo excited to see me and be freed from the bus.  I have never felt so bad in my life!  The bus driver had seriously been driving around for an hour trying to find where to drop Jax off.  And, what was I doing?  Snoozing!  Seriously?

Everything just worked out as terribly as it could have today.  My phone was still on silent from work and all the way out in the kitchen.  My mom and Amber had both called me like 20 times.  The bus driver had been calling.  Chase had called.  My alarm was set correctly and didn't go off.  Ben, who usually takes a 2 or so hour nap and could be considered a back-up alarm, slept for 5 HOURS and never woke me up.  He's never done that in his entire life. Oh. My. Gosh!!!!!!!

So, needless to say my day was pretty out of control.  I just couldn't really get control the rest of the day.  I seriously couldn't calm down from the panic attack I felt when I woke up to the bus driver banging down my door and seeing 5pm on my clock.  I had a visiting teaching appointment at 6:30pm that I totally forgot to show up to.  I am actually back at work right now and haven't brushed my hair, changed my shirt, or put on an ounce of makeup since yesterday.  Would you please find me a life coach?!

Anyway, I am so relieved to say that my kids are still alive.  Jax made it home from school safe and sound.  I, on the other hand, just might get fired from my job as  a mom.


Scott said...

Night shifts are the worst... when I used to work them I had to get a babysitter for the next day because when I fell asleep it was like falling into a dark hole and I do not wake up. You are not a bad mom at all :)

the dunns said...

that last comment was from me, no Scott!!!

karyn said...

Goldie, I can't believe you can work night shifts! Starting in June (when I am done with work) I will take your boys anytime. Working and being a mom is so hard... I can't imagine working all night long. We haven't seen you guys in so long! We will be on the look out for you!

Rebecca said...

Goldie don't even feel bad. I think every Mom has at least one of those moments. So not your fault. But I can imagine that feeling. Sorry for the rough day. All that Jax probably remembers is how excited he was to see you.

Jonny and Suzette Baird said...

Goldie, you are such a good mom to those boys and this would have happened to anyone. I am so sorry that happened, I am sure that will happen multiple times with me. I wished we lived closer cause I would love to have your cute boys over anytime so you can sleep all day.
Love you!

Lyssa said...

Oh Goldie! I'm so sorry you went through that! I hate days like that. But don't be so hard of yourself! You are working night shifts girl! You need sleep and your body was doing what it needed to do. And at least Jax was safe with the bus driver. Hang in there. You'll find that balance of working and motherhood. That's so hard. Seriously. But don't diss yourself. You are a great mom! You are fabulous and your boys are lucky to have you as a mom :) OH and they LOVE you no matter what!

Heather Lee said...

I love that the person who really has a right to care in this situation, was only SMILES to see you. That's so cute. (well I guess the bus driver might have a little bit of a right...like what in the world should I do with this kid?) at least Jax is so cute and I wouldn't mind taking him on an hour long joy ride.
Where do you work now? I love how ambitious you are! Seriously, if anyone can do it and do every job perfectly...it'd be you. And also, where are you moving? I've tried every other form of communication to get ahold of you that I've moved on to comments.