being a mom...

I am a mom.  All day and all night long.  I really do love it.  I have wanted to be a mom ever since I could remember.  I think a lot of little girls dream of the day when they get to aspire to be a mom.  Oh, that blessed day.  I played house for hours and hours and hours.  Honestly, I might have played for a little too long.  My bestest childhood friend, Brooke, and I had made-up full blown families along with husbands who went to work all day and babies to take care of.  Now I am here.  But, this time it is real.  And, I am struggling just a bit...

When I had Jax I had to go back to work for about 6 weeks to finish out the school year.  I thought my life was over.  I seriously couldn't imagine how I would make it through the day without my little baby.  I just knew that he was going to remember me leaving him and hate me forever.  After my second year teaching, I quit and was officially a full-time mom.

I am so grateful that Chase works hard enough to make it possible for me to stay home and take care of our kids.  I love that I get to see them grow and watch all the funny, cute, sweet things they do.  BUT, I am kinda starting to feel strange about my life.

Honestly, most days we don't have  a single thing that we have to do.  Those days are nice every now and again, but every day?  It can get old.  And boring.  I try to do something fun with these two little boys of mine every day, but I must say I am feeling bored.  I am kind of feeling like I, Goldie,  am ceasing to exist and being 'a mom' is taking over.  It is a really strange feeling.

While it is sometimes nice, I feel strange about the fact that I could go the entire day without showering and changing out of my pajamas and no one would ever know.  And, it wouldn't really matter because we don't have anywhere to go anyway.  And, to make it worse my 2 1/2 year old, Jax, isn't the easiest to take places.  Better put, he is the hardest to take anywhere.  He is a wild man.

So, this post is not just a big complaint.  Really.  Things for me aren't that bad.  Just getting a little boring and redundant.  So, I need some help.  This may sound ridiculous, but what do you do all day with your kids? :)  I am going to write down a list of things that we do fairly often to share a few of my ideas, but that means in return you share yours - activities that are free and places to go that cost money are both welcome.  I am getting desperate!!! 

go to the park
go the the splash park
go to the pool
go on a walk
go the my parents'
go to my sister's
let Jax run through the isles of Target (I'm sure the employee's love this.)
jump on it
walk around the mall (both my kids love the stroller) and play at the mall play place

And, yeah...can't think of anything else.  Maybe that is why I am getting so bored.


Jonny and Suzette Baird said...

Goldie, I have nothing yet to contribute but I am glad to know your ideas..... I say that we plan a girls trip every 6 months and we get some fun girls and we go down south (during the cold months) and then maybe up north (during the hot months) and just get away and enjoy a fun, kid-free weekend with fun girls. We can start doing this really soon. We can switch off who plans it and will just stick to a budget and then figure out dates and babysitters and head out. This would be such a fun tradition to start and we can do it till were old grannies.... by that point our trips with be off the hook :) Paris, Africa....ya know :)
Also, problem solved if you moved up to SLC? come on, please! We would do stuff all the time and I need some "mom friends"

sarah said...

Looks like you've pretty much covered everything there is to in the UC! Except coming to play with me and Jack...really.

Colby & Amanda said...

I know how you feel:) I am now staying home with Kade and I am having a hard time ajusting too! I love it, but I am going stir crazy! You should call me and we could have a play date, 380-3240

Heather Lee said...

oh I miss you. Not to one up you...buuut imagine being in your boat and 1,535 miles away or more from all family and friends. Holland and I are basically on the same level...besides that she pees her pants every now and then.
I want in on your girls' trips. That is if Mrs. Baird thinks I'm a "fun girl." Just saying, my 2 1/2 year old thinks so.
Next activity on your list. Come visit me in Indiana=) Nothing like it. Really. You guys will be talking about it for years to come. I promise.

reno and mel said...

Love this post! Pretty sure my options these days are burger king or mcdonalds playground today? Any place with slides and a/c is my idea of a good time. Oh and about the teaching thing... I still get a pit in my stomach when I see all the school supplies go on sale, what about you?

reno and mel said...

p.s. play-doh and fingerpaints are marli's now faves if you don't mind cleaning up the mess:)

Renae said...

I remember this feeling. Playdates w/ friends help since you usually shower and get dressed for these things. (hopefully :) What also helps is planning a cruise with all of your husbands girl cousins and looking forward to a huge party in April! C'mon!! It's funny that almost every person going has said they wished you were going. I swear it's true! We all think you're pretty amazing.

Konold's said...

Dude. Get a part time job. It will be the best paid break ever!!! It has been so nice to get a break from my babies. Stockton is in preschool and learning all sorts of fun things. There is nothing wrong with having your own identity and being a great mother at the same time. Goldie, you CAN have it all.

Brandon, McKell & Ryker said...

Hey Goldie, I don't know if you remember me or not but I came across your blog and saw this post. We don't do a ton of fun things besides stay close to pools or in the house during the hot months in Vegas, but some things my 2 1/2 year old son loves (besides running the isles at Target) is finger painting, but instead of using paint get vanilla pudding and color it with food coloring. It is paint and food all at once. We also get very creative with big Popsicle sticks and paint. Our last creation was a dinosaur.
Also I don't know if they offer free family movies at any of your theaters, but you might want to check that out too. Our theaters play last years movies for free at 10 in the morning. It is hilarious listening to all the little kids and they don't need to be quiet because most the audience is 5 and under. We also go for lots of bike rides. This is a great age to teach kids how to ride bikes because they are fearless and they pick up on things pretty quickly. The only down side is that you spend a lot of time on your knees peddling their feet until the figure it out. Ryker has got it down and now we have a great time riding together or Ryker riding while I push my 3 month old in the stroller. I hope I was of some help.

Steffani Dastrup said...

Reading this post makes me very jealous of your situation. :) I am the teacher that had to go back for 2 years after my Jax was born, and there isn't much of an end in sight. I LONG to be bored at home with my baby!

But, I completely understand where you are coming from. There is something very rewarding about being a working mom. I have my time away, I feel very productive and I feel like I'm contributing to the bigger world. I have to admit I might miss that feeling a little bit if I got to be home.

So, here is the solution. Teach half day! That way you can have the best of both worlds! That is my plan in the next year or so! Maybe we could share a class! :)

Lyssa said...

You've pretty much summed up my life as a mom the past 5 years! It can be tough being creative and having a stimulated environment for the kids.
I made a huge list of things we have at home, whether it's toys, activities then I made another list of things around our house or community that we could go to, like a park splash park, trails, etc.
then i recently organized my day and tried to do the same routine every day. I am doing this so Emma gets used to a change of pace and activity for Kindergarden..not sure how she'll do...
Anyways, with the move, things have gone off but before, it was doing really well. It helps them know what to expect next.
My girls love to color and we do printouts of their favorite characters, princesses...they could do that for hours if I let them...we just don't have enough paper and ink!
We are starting to go to the Lowes or Home Depot on Saturdays, they have fun wooden things to make that are free. We hit the library too for lapsit story time...
It definitely gets tedious and repetitive...and i've had the same struggle with "me" and a "mom"...still struggling actually.
But I hope you find new things to do with your kids,..your adorable kids!