School starts tomorrow. Teachers went back to work on Monday. I have been having some strange feelings about this school year. When I was pregnant with Jax during the last school year I taught, I counted down the days until my due date. I wanted that little baby to be here. I wanted to be a mom and stay home and snuggle him and rub baby lotion on his little squishy body all day long.
About 3 months ago, I considered going back to work this fall. I looked and applied for some 1/2 time teaching positions. I thought that teaching 4 hours a day would be good for me and not too big of a deal for my 2 little boys...they would nap through some of it anyway, right? Well, after I went to an interview, Chase told me that if it was up to him there was no way that I was going to teach school. Even 1/2 day. Our little boys need me to take care of them. So, I decided against it.
Actually, I feel really good about not teaching school right now. I am sure the day will come that if I want to go back and teach, I will. But, I just didn't feel like now was the time for that. My babies are little. They need a mama home with them. And, I want to be home with them.
But, this week, for some reason, has been hard for me. I have felt a little left out of the loop. I have talked to some of my teaching friends and feel like I miss the public school atmosphere. I miss the hilarious things that my 6th graders did. I miss the funny stories I came home and told Chase from the school day. I miss the friends I made teaching.
Tomorrow is the first day of school. Part of me wishes that I was going to be wearing my fluorescent orange vest being the crossing guard at 7:45am while my students walk to school. But, deep down I am so glad that at 7:45am tomorrow I will probably be snuggling my little Ben waiting for Jax to wake up with a big smile on his face reaching for me with a big hug!!