8.19.2009

Back to School

If it wasn't for my blasted computer, you all would be up to date on my life.  However, since blogger hates when I try to upload pictures, I haven't posted anything.  Poor little Ben hasn't received near the blogging attention Jax got in his first 2 months of life.  But, I promise I love him just as much!!  Soon I will figure out how to force my computer to upload some pictures.  Until then, you are left with my thoughts...

School starts tomorrow.  Teachers went back to work on Monday.  I have been having some strange feelings about this school year.  When I was pregnant with Jax during the last school year I taught, I counted down the days until my due date.  I wanted that little baby to be here.  I wanted to be a mom and stay home and snuggle him and rub baby lotion on his little squishy body all day long.

About 3 months ago, I considered going back to work this fall.  I looked and applied for some 1/2 time teaching positions.  I thought that teaching 4 hours a day would be good for me and not too big of a deal for my 2 little boys...they would nap through some of it anyway, right?  Well, after I went to an interview, Chase told me that if it was up to him there was no way that I was going to teach school.  Even 1/2 day.  Our little boys need me to take care of them.  So, I decided against it.

Actually, I feel really good about not teaching school right now.  I am sure the day will come that if I want to go back and teach, I will.  But, I just didn't feel like now was the time for that.  My babies are little.  They need a mama home with them.  And, I want to be home with them.  

But, this week, for some reason, has been hard for me.  I have felt a little left out of the loop.  I have talked to some of my teaching friends and feel like I miss the public school atmosphere.  I miss the hilarious things that my 6th graders did.  I miss the funny stories I came home and told Chase from the school day.  I miss the friends I made teaching.

Tomorrow is the first day of school.  Part of me wishes that I was going to be wearing my fluorescent orange vest being the crossing guard at 7:45am while my students walk to school.  But, deep down I am so glad that at 7:45am tomorrow I will probably be snuggling my little Ben waiting for Jax to wake up with a big smile on his face reaching for me with a big hug!!