My baby Ben is 3 weeks old. The last 3 weeks have been so wonderful and so hard at the same time. Ben is the sweetest, best baby. He is perfect. I love holding him when he is swaddled tight in a blanket. I love when he lays on my chest and falls asleep. I love his full head of hair.
The last 3 weeks have been everything I could have ever imagined. But, they have also been harder than I ever imagined. Not only am I tired and feeling pretty frazzled (not to mention dealing with a bout of Swine Flu in the middle of everything else), I have never felt so much guilt in my life. I am SO happy that Ben is here and know that Jax is going to love his brother and love having a playmate. However, I feel so guilty when I am holding one of them or giving one of them attention while the other is left alone.
When I hold Jax, I feel bad that Ben isn't being held. When I am holding Ben, I feel like I should be playing with Jax. The guilt has for sure been the worst part. I have a feeling this guilt is going to come back every time I have a new baby.
But, other than the guilt, these last 3 weeks have been amazing. I never thought I could love a baby as much as I love Jax. But, the second I laid eyes on Ben, he stole my heart the exact same way Jax did. It is amazing how my capacity to love grew so much so fast.
Baby Ben, we are so happy you are part of our family.
Brooke is one amazing photographer!!!