If I could scream at blogger, I would. For some reason I can't post pictures. I have no idea why, but it just won't let me. So, I guess that means that I will just have to write about what is going on with me instead of posting pictures of cute little Jax.
The school year is already about 1/8 over, and I haven't stepped into a classroom yet. If you would have told me last January that I would miss it, there is NO WAY that I would have believed you. I loved all my students - especially the hyper talkative ones, and even the little boy who would sometimes fart in class and laugh his head off. Those kids made me laugh. Sometimes they made me want to pull my hair out, but most days I smiled thinking about them. But, being pregnant and teaching just put me in countdown mode. I couldn't wait to be done...with pregnancy and with teaching.
About 3 weeks ago I was driving past an elementary just as school was getting out. I saw all the crazy kids running around and the teachers standing in as crossing guards - which I am proud to say I have done. I realized that although I told Chase quite often last year how excited I was to never go back, I really did miss it.
Isn't it so sad that we don't realize how much we love something or how fun a stage of our life is until it is over? We don't realize how carefree life is until we have to pay our own cell phone bill. We don't realize how much we love our mom until we move out. I didn't realize how much I loved teaching until I was done.
But, I have found a way to fill that void in my life and still get to stay home with Jax - the best of both worlds! I tutor elementary, middle school, and even high school aged students. It is great. They come to my house, and I tutor during Jax's naps. I tutor just 10 hours a week. 5 of the hours are during the after school hours. The other 5 hours are during the day. Two kids in my neighborhood are homeschooled, and I teach them all of their Language Arts curriculum during the day. One is in 6th grade - which is great because I have already taught 6th grade. The other is in 4th grade - which has been so fun getting to know the 4th grade curriculum.
It is kinda funny how I look forward to tutoring everyday. The kids are so cute, and remind me that I really do LOVE to teach - even if I didn't figure that out until I was done. But, it has been so great to tutor and teach my cute little homeschoolers. I am still trying to figure out why it takes me so long to appreciate something or realize how much I love things that I am doing. I hate that a lot of times I don't realize how great something is until it is over. But, I've decided that I am just going to LOVE tutoring because I know that one day when I have more of my own kids I won't be able to do it and will miss it. I am going to love every minute of helping frustrated kids with their math homework and times tables!!! And hey, I am like a times table pro now...don't worry that it has taken me until I am 24....
Jax has always been such a little sweetie. He has always slept well, eaten well, and been super happy. The last week has been a little different. The little devil inside of him has come out. He refused to take naps. He would only sleep if I was holding him. If I even so much as thought about putting him down, he would cry. Because he was refusing to nap all day long, at about 5:00pm he would start to whine. He would whine until about 8:30pm when he just couldn't take it anymore and would fall asleep for the night. Oh boy...this was not something I was interested in making a habit.
So, Thursday I called Kristen. I was in desperate need of some advice. She told me that I need to make sure he is tired, put him in his bed for nap time, and just let him cry until he fell asleep. There is a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that claims this method works. She did this with Mimi and in just 3 short days she was a napping pro. I decided to give the method a try. I didn't want Jax to think that his new schedule was going to be a routine.
Friday morning at about 11:00am I decided that I was going to be strong and let him cry if he didn't go to sleep. He was rubbing his eyes tired. While I was holding him he was nodding off, but the second I put him in his crib he was not so excited. He kept his eyes closed for about one minute and then started to cry. Oh no! I listened to him for a little bit and just couldn't take it. I texted Kristen for a little moral support and she told me "DON"T GIVE IN!" So, I held on. It felt a little more like child abuse than teaching Jax a napping routine.
Jax would whimper for a minute then let out a loud scream. I couldn't handle just sitting there listening to him scream so I stared to clean my house. I cleaned for about 30 minutes. I wanted to start crying I felt so bad for the little guy cause I knew that the second I picked him up he would stop crying. I was so worried that he was going to be mad at me when he woke up or that he was hungry or that his adorable skinny jeans were uncomfortable to try and sleep in. Finally, I made a decision. I was going to get in the shower and if he was still crying when I got out I would rescue him. When I got out of the shower he was asleep!! Yahoo! I did it. The first forced nap. The above picture is the face I was greeted with when he woke up from the nap. Ahh, a smile. He still likes me.
I am still working on getting him to be a better napper. But, I am really hoping he only takes 3 days like Mimi. But, I did just put him down for a nap, and he only cried for about 2 minutes and fell asleep, (and has been asleep for an hour and a half!!). I think that I am going to cure him of his new devilish ways.